Last Page (#17)

I wrote on my last page of "I'm with the Band" today.
Yeah I know, it's been like two years since I've called my notebook that.
And it's been a long time since I've written in it.
It sucks not having time to write.
I'm just so relaxed when I actually sit down and physically write something.
It gives me so much more release than typing my thoughts on a computer.
(This entry was written down first BTW)
I miss writing as much as I used to.
I miss a lot of things that happen around the time I received the notebook from one of my best friends.
It was a better time then.
I actually had a life.
But things change and we adjust.
And we start a new chapter in our lives.
Or in my case, a new notebook.

I Love to Bake (#16)

I bake when I'm bored
Especially when I don't have school or work
One summer I made...
Six batches of cookies
Two pans of brownies
A pan of cookie brownie
A pan of lemon bars
A cake
A cheesecake that turned out really terrible
And an Oreo cream pie
...within two and half months
And I usually make a batch of cookies at least once a month
Not really lately though because school has taken over my life
But I made puppy chow
A batch of cookies
And coconut and chocolate cupcakes with cream cheese frosting and sprinkles
Just in this past week
I'm surprised I don't weigh 300 pounds

Antique Room (#15)

I recently bought two old cameras.
They're from the nineteen teens.
I've decided I'm going to start collecting antiques.
One day I dream to have my own home
...and in it I'll have a special room
...that will look like a different era
...because it will be filled with antiques
And in that room I'll have...
A chair
A desk
A notebook
A pen
And a record player
It will be my room to write and read and listen to music
I'll have a wall of my photography
And I'll go there to relax
It will be perfect

In a Perfect World.... (#14)

Everyone would believe in love being able to conquer the world
People wouldn't fight
People would respect their elders
...and children since they are the future
Time would heal all wounds
People would break up with their significant others only if they cheated or were simply a bad person
Couples wouldn't get married if they had doubt it wouldn't work, which would eliminate divorces
Alcohol wouldn't cause hangovers
...or cause health problems
Tanning wouldn't cause skin cancer
Cancer doesn't exist
And terminal disease don't either
Auto-tune doesn't exist and only people who can actually sing are famous
John Cusack is my age, is as romantic as he is in his movies and wants to marry me
People wouldn't touch the glass on doors and would use handles, leaving less cleaning for workers
Girls wouldn't wear cakey make-up or over tan
...or be bitches
Guys would approach me to get to know me, and not expect to take me home
Bad food doesn't exit
...and doesn't cost a fortune
No one suffers from hunger
...or homelessness
Athletes and celebrities aren't overpaid
I could afford school without loans
More people would publicly follow my blog
Losing ten pounds in two weeks is easy and I can keep it off
I am on Glee and/or am recognized publicly for singing
I am recognized for my photography
I could afford my dream wardrobe
...and house
....with all the furnishings
I could meet Freddie Mercury and Elvis
I could see my friends whenever I want
I marry my soul mate
BFF's really are forever
You'd just tell me sorry
Love DOES conquer the world

Don't Be Sorry (#13)

Saying sorry and being sorry are completely different things.
You can say you're sorry to someone for something you did wrong or hurtful.
You can think you really are sorry.
But most of the time you say sorry just so you feel better about yourself and to keep yourself out of any further trouble.
But saying sorry and being sorry are different.
Being sorry mean you won't mess up with the same mistake again.
Being sorry means never having to be sorry for the same thing ever again.
Never again.
Forgiveness should only happen once if you mess up a first time.
If the person you betray forgives you multiple times, they either really trust you, or they're foolish to forgive you.
Don't ruin your chances if you ever have someone to forgive you.
Don't hurt them again.
Don't make them go through hell again.
They obviously care about you.
So don't just say sorry.
Prove it.
Act upon it.
Make them know you are.

My Heart is Now Goo (#12)

Update (#11)

So I've discovered that taking the time to sit down in front of my computer to write a complete blog takes a lot of patience.
Especially writing one everyday.
This whole 25 blogs to Christmas thing is hard!
But I do have four in the works...
Which gives me 14 and I have five days til Christmas...
Where the heck did the time go?
I've been working on editing wedding photos therefore I've had no life this past week, but those are done now and I'll be updating the logues tomorrow!
Now I'm off to make puppy chow.

Failing at Life (#10)

For me, not doing my best is something that bothers me, but sometimes I just don't feel like trying.
In school, I've been able to get away with doing a mediocre job on assignments and somehow receiving at least a B.
I've been able to do that for a long time.
Maybe it's just me thinking I didn't put a lot of thought into something and not giving myself enough credit.
...But I procrastinate and I truly believe I could have done better.
And when I don't ry, I still think I'll be able to pull off a good grade, because I usually do.
But that's with things I am very knowledgeable on.
It doesn't always work like that.
Especially recently.
I failed a class.
For the first time ever.
I cried. Oh yeah, I cried.
Media Law and Communication.
I have to retake it next semester because it's required for my major.
So I'll probably do better than I did this semester, but still.
I failed.
Failing a class is like the worst thing in the world to me.
If I think about, it's not that big of a deal since I get a chance to take it again, but still.
I failed!!
It wasn't an easy class, I'm not sure why I thought I could turn my grade around like I have in past classes.
Ugh, I feel like I'm failing at life.

67 (Cheap) Date Ideas I Didn't Come Up With (#9)

Italicized are the ones I've done and would do again, Bolded  are the ones I've never done and would really like to do (with a boy).


1. Browse the local farmers’ market.
2. Go on a picnic. All you need is a blanket, fruit, sausage, cheese, crackers and water.
3. Fly a kite.
4. Enjoy a romantic home-cooked meal.
5. Cook dinner together.
6. Go apple picking.
7. Give a massage.
8. Go to the beach.
9. Attend an open-air festival.
10. See an art-house movie matinee.
11. Build a snowman.
12. Have a barbecue.
13. Share a sundae.
14. Attend an art gallery.
15. Take a hike.
16. Go to a book signing.
17. Go for a bike ride.
18. Play miniature golf.
19. Attend a wine tasting.
20. Go fishing.
21. Go sledding (with a thermos of hot cider or cocoa).
22. Visit the zoo.
23. Rent a movie.
24. Pick up movie at your local library.
25. Drive go-carts.
26. Go window-shopping.
27. Invite friends over for board games.
28. Do a Google search for free things to do in your city.
29. Eat out with a gift certificate from Restaurant.com.
30. Drive through the country (especially good around Fall).
31. Play at a playground (swings and teeter-totters are fun!)
32. Attend a planetarium show.
33. Browse antique shops.
34. Go to an open mic night at a coffee shop or bookstore.
35. Volunteer at a favorite charity.
36. Attend a high school sporting event.
37. Watch Shakespeare in the Park.
38. Have an indoor picnic.
39. Star gaze (Orion is an easy constellation to spot).
40. Take a pottery class together.
41. Go bowling.
42. Play pool.
43. Go to the local community pool.
44. Feed the ducks at a local pond.
45. Go ice skating.
46. Go roller skating.
47. Play laser tag.
48. Play frisbee.
49. Go kayaking or canoeing.
50. Skip rocks at a lake.
51. Watch a meteor shower.
52. Attend a local high school, community college or university play or musical.
53. Go camping.
54. Play basketball together.
55. Visit a botanical garden.
56. Go spelunking (but be careful!)
57. Get a cup of coffee together (hopefully at a spot that offers free refills).
58. Take a factory tour. Breweries that offer free samples are especially fun.
59. Take dance lessons at a local community center.
60. Visit local historic landmarks.
61. Put together a puzzle.
62. Carve pumpkins (around Halloween).
63. Go strawberry picking.
64. Attend a flea market or swapmeet.
65. Check out yard sales.
66. Assemble a model airplane then fly it in a park.
67. Go out for brunch (cheaper than dinner).


Source

Cheating Again...How to be Alone (#8)

Black Friday (#7)

This is a first person article I wrote for my news writing class.

‘Tis the season to be jolly and leave your kids in the car while you go shopping for nine hours.

Black Friday, to me, has always been an image of some sort of a nightmare. Kids locked in cars, people trampled while running through sliding, glass doors, mothers pulling each other’s hair, fighting over who gets the last Buzz Lightyear action figure and customers cutting in line so they can get to the next good deal at Costco.

I had always refused – and when I say refused, I mean you could not drag me from my house if you paid me $100 – refused, refused, refused to go anywhere on Black Friday. My friends would try to convince me with “But they have the best deals!” or “Everything is so cheap, you have to see it to believe it!”

I said no. No way. Not ever. I’ve watched the news. I’ve heard the horror stories. People die on Black Friday, I was not, and would not ever be ready to try to live through the madness of Black Friday.

I was perfectly fine with stuffing my face with leftovers from Thanksgiving Day of cold, turkey sandwiches and rehydrated stuffing, while watching a marathon of the Real World on MTV.

The only exception I’ve made for Black Friday was in 2007. One of my best friends, who was in town from New York, dragged me by my feet to K-Mart around 4 p.m. It was after the rush, and it was K-Mart, no one shops at K-Mart, so there was no harm done to my body.

That was the only exception I thought I would ever make to go shopping on Black Friday, until this year.

For Thanksgiving break, I drove to my mediocre hometown of Mason City, IA on Sunday the 21^st. I was more than ready for this break from school, but more importantly, I was excited that I got to work at Prime ‘N Wine on Thanksgiving Day. Other than working, I had prepared myself for absolute laziness.

I took home with me my leopard print Snuggie, my printed sheep slippers, and my bag of Hershey Kisses with mint inside. I was ready to do absolutely nothing but cuddled up in front of my television and order movies OnDemand all week. But then I thought, what the heck am I going to write about for my final story for my narrative news writing class? And that’s when it came to me.

I’m going to shop on Black Friday, I thought to myself. After all, I had never done any serious shopping the day after Thanksgiving, and I wanted a new perspective on my addiction to spending money on myself…and others.

I had already spent upwards of $400 on new clothes less than a month before with my loan money for school, so I deemed it necessary to spend my hard-earned money from my jobs at Telefund and Panera on some sweet deals on Black Friday. It was a reward for myself, of course.

But then I thought, no. I won’t buy anything. I’ll just observe. Don’t get involved with Black Friday, it’s not your friend, remember – people die on this day. But what would a real Black Friday be without shopping? The devil and angel on my shoulders argued for a while then I finally decided I would just buy one thing.

The Wednesday before Thanksgiving, I stopped at Younker’s to observe the preparation for the next shopping day. There were so many items stocked to the brim. Scarves were practically falling off the racks, displays of mittens and stocking caps lined the aisle of jewelry that was neatly hung, and sweaters and coats were packed on their racks until they almost fell off.

Did they expect to sell that many items? I knew it was for Black Friday, but seriously, Mason City has a population of less than 30,000 people, most of which are elderly or 8 years old, and not everyone shops on Black Friday – a lot are like me.

Since I was at Younkers, I did look for things that I might buy on the day of death, and kept a certain Calvin Kline down coat in mind, originally 200 dollars. If I were to buy anything, it was going to be that. I also went to Wal-Mart on Wednesday – it didn’t look any different from how it usually was.

I decided I was going to go to Wal-Mart at midnight on Black Friday to see what the big deal was about. I took a nap after I visited with family on Thanksgiving, preparing myself for the early morning festivities.

Wal-Mart was packed.

After the stampede of crazy mothers and focused fathers, the check out lines immediately filled. As I stood in the back of the lines in observation, one woman said, “These lines aren’t even that bad.”

Not that bad? There are 24 lines and all of them had at least 10 people waiting in line – only 30 minutes after midnight. They were the longest lines I’d ever seen.

Most parents had either a cart full of toys or a stack of DVD’s in hand, as they were going for $5 apiece. One father had a child sized motorized jeep, ATV and motorcycle stacked on top of each other in one cart. Was he preparing his kid for the X-Games or something? As for the DVD’s, I think 18 was plenty for one mother in particular.

The clothing sections of the stores were less messy than I expected – a sole coat lay on the floor. Dolls and action figure were missing, but none really scattered about.

The one thing that bothered me the most was the stack of Woody and Buzz Lightyear dolls. One Buzz was gone. That’s it – one. When I was younger, there were none left the next day – I would know, because I wanted one for Christmas, but when I went to Wal-Mart, they were gone.

Not even the Easy-Bake ovens had been touched. I was contemplating buying one for myself since I had sold my old one in a garage sale years ago. I felt bad for them.

I got bored people watching, so I left to go take another nap before heading to Best Buy. As I left, the only two police officers stared me down as I had nothing in hand; after the alarm didn’t go off, I had feared they would come after me. So much for high security.

As I drove home, I passed Best Buy and Target – 1:15 and people were already in line for the openings at 4 a.m. When I had returned to Best Buy, I was hesitant to stand in line because I knew I wasn’t going to buy anything, and they were handing out vouchers to people in line.

Some people even sold their vouchers for cash – how crazy is that?

Lupe Puga, Iowa City resident who worked at Best Buy on Black Friday, said Best Buy is more organized than Wal-Mart or Target because of their voucher system.

“By having the ticket system, it eliminates people fighting because by the time [people] are in line outside they already know if they will be able to get what they were looking for,” she said. “The only problem they face walking into the store is the line they have to wait in while we ring them out.”

Because of the voucher system, I left Best Buy and went home to go back to bed. What a disappointment, I thought. Black Friday was not living up to the reputation I thought it had.

Later in the day, I went to Younkers and bought that Calvin Kline coat for $74.28, what a great deal. Younkers was busy, lines were long, and everything was cheap. The floors were a little messy with scarves and hats, but in all, it too, was a disappointment.

The lack-luster of a day Black Friday had been for me could have been due to the 20 percent increase in online sales, according to a survey conducted by the National Retail Federation. With more deals online, Black Friday may just turn into Sunshine Yellow Friday.

Black Friday was surely not what I had expected. No one was trampled on, no kids were left in cars, no one even died.

Overflowing with Glee (#6)

Tonight, the Christmas special of Glee premiered.
And because I'm such a sap, it kept reminding me of how I'm probably going to be alone on Christmas.
No one should be alone on Christmas...yadda blah blah blah.
So, it made me a little down, but at the end, my heart was overflowing with emotions.

You know when you feel so happy, that it almost hurts?
That you're not sure if you should laugh or cry, or you just don't know what you should be feeling?
Well, that happened to me tonight.
My heart was so full of joy because of what happened in the episode, that I cried.
I think that is what is supposed to happen when you're so happy.
Your heart can't handle it, so the emotions spill into your eyes and you cry.

*Spoiler alert*

They based Glee off of How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Sue steals presents, but returns them in the end, and an unexplained miracle happens to Artie. A device that allows him to walk appears at Brittany's house.
Though only a TV show, that happiness that doesn't fit in my heart, poured from my eyes because it was so  beautiful to see that Artie could walk - just what Brittany asked Santa for for Christmas.
So, I'm going to be alone of Christmas, so what? Tonight's episode of Glee was just a reminder to all of us that we're not alone. There are people who care about our well-being, and Christmas is truly a great time for the impossible to become a miracle.

I Hate You So Much Right Now (#5)

I've just been holding this anger in me for sometime, and the chorus of this song is a great release. Sometimes I just want to scream it at the top of my lungs because I hate lies.
I hate betrayal.
I hate hidden agendas.
I hate getting hurt.
And I hate you so much right now.

I Need to Catch Up, So I'm Cheating (#4)

I didn't write this, but I think everyone should read it. It'll make you feel better about your life if you're down.
Bolded are the ones I love the most - but read all of them!


1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good. 

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step. 

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. 

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch. 

‎5. Pay off your credit cards every month. 

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree. 

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone. 

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it. 

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck. 

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile. 

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present. 

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry. 

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about. 

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it. 

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

‎16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind. 

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful. 

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger. 

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else. 

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer. 

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special. 

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow. 

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple. 

24. The most important sex organ is the brain. 

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you. 

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?' 

27. Always choose life. 

28. Forgive everyone for everything. 

29. What other people think of you is none of your business. 

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change. 

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does. 

33. Believe in miracles. 

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do. 

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now. 

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young. 

37. Your children get only one childhood. 

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved. 

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere. 

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back. 

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need. 

42. The best is yet to come... 

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up. 

44. Yield. 

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift

The Power of Music (#3)

"Music washes away from the soul, the dust of everyday life." - Berthold Auerbach
That quote says so many things, without hardly saying anything.
It says music heals.
Music cleanses.
Music just makes life better.
When I'm having a bad day, a song can ignite happiness in my heart.
But it also has the effect of making the floods coming rushing from my eyes, especially when I've been heartbroken.
But it heals.
It can close wounds that have torn open repeatedly.
It can make me feel whole again.
It can even turn a misbehaving child into in an angel.
Like what Bob Marley can do.
Or what Florence and the Machine can do.
Those two videos spread smiles across my face every time I watch them. (Although I dislike the "take that Jesus" comment in Baby Bob Marley/)
How to calm a crying child? Play it music!
Children, teenagers and adults alike know the power of music.
I was raised in the boy band era and every time the Backstreet Boys or N*SYNC came on TRL, there would be girls crying and fainting.
Girls would talk about how the songs changed their lives or how they were able to conquer some sort of barrier because they heard "Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely."
It sounds silly, but that's the power of music.
It moves people.
It makes people cry.
It makes people happy.
It overwhelms emotions.
It overwhelms the senses to make you feel good.

Music just makes me feel good.

And I don't know what I'd do without it.

Listen to these, these make me happy:
"Free Fallin'" John Mayer
"Time to Pretend" MGMT
"Dog Days are Over" Florence and the Machine
"Put Your Records On" Corrine Bailey Rae
"Love Shack" B-52's
"Don't Stop Believin (Regionals Version)" Glee Cast
"Feelin' Good" Michael Bublé version

"Short Skirt, Long Jacket" Cake

"Grace Kelly" Mika

"Swim" Jack's Mannequin
And to quote "Swim" to wrap this up

..."Swim for the music that saves you when you're not so sure you'll survive."

Love Song for No One (#2)

*I didn't mean to steal the title of a JM song, it just happened*

Lock me up inside in your heart

That's where I'll feel safe from harm

Trust me when I draw you near

You, too, will be safe right here

Someone out there is writing a song about us

With lyrics that other people can discuss

Perfect lyrics showcasing our love

A love that others are jealous of

Don't be afraid of me hurting your feelings

Because I'm a person who's used to healing

Healing broken hearts of yours and mine

We could be great if you gave it time

Someone's playing melodies on a guitar

While puffing away on a Cuban cigar

Breathing it in and singing a song

Singing about us can't be wrong

Let's runaway where we can be alone

We can reap all of what's been sewn

We're safe in each others arms

Listening to the love song for no one

...But us

25 Blogs to Christmas (#1)

I'm going to be writing 25 blogs by the time Christmas is here.
I got this idea from Nessa K on her YouTube.
I absolutely LOVE her videos and she is also a fantastic photographer.
I'm a little jealous of her.
A lot jealous of her.
I love her style, and I love how quirky she is - check her out, she's great!
Anyway, this is my first post to 25 Days Blogs to Christmas.
Not sure what the rest of them will be about, but we'll see where this goes.
Happy Holidays!