6/3/09
Enjoying a night alone with my thoughts...
I love watching Sex and the City. It makes me wish I could live the life of Carrie Bradshaw - but only the life she had when she was with Aiden.
He was my favorite.
He was perfect and they were perfect together...until she messed it up by screwing Big...anyway...
My mom and I were watching the episode when they first started dating. He fixed a romantic bubble bath. My mom said she wished she has someone that thoughtful.
As do I.
My mom and I had a conversation one night about how I am afraid I will never get married. After all, some people don't.
But she said if that were true for me, God wouldn't have put the desire to find someone in my heart.
But after watching SATC, I thought about that. My mom has the desire, but hasn't someone to share that same desire with. I realize she's been married before, but they weren't equal desires.
My mom is in her 50's and she hasn't found that one person to share her desire with, so what does that leave for me?
Although I have my whole life ahead of me, why is the desire to find that person so strong?
Why does my heart burn with a passion that is so intense it breaks my heart?
Why can't I be more patient?
Why can't these questions be answered?
Why am I such a sap?
All I ask is to find an Aiden to my Carrie.
All I ask is to be happy.
I believe you will find your Aiden, remember to trust your heart and your head...that is why you have both. Maybe that sounds silly, but some people choose to follow only one and forget that using both offers the benefit of using sound judgement and not settling for less than you deserve. I know you think life is passing you by, but truly, you really are just beginning, savor the next two years ahead of you - they will offer you many opportunities to know yourself and the people in your world much better than you think you do now. Love, Mom
ReplyDeleteP.S. Good observations of above :) I am still waiting for my Aiden...I have learned to know I am worth it ;)