Ebbie & Me

Written sometime between 7/8/09 and 7/13/09

I recently saw Marley & Me for the first time. I heard what happened at the end so I already prepared myself.

I had to put my cat to sleep a bout a year and a half ago so I know what it's like to lose something that was a big part of the family for a long time. I had Ebbie since I was in first grade, and having a cat for 13 years of my life, I had hard time coping.

Anyway, I knew what was coming, but I didn't know when. The anticipation was killing me. When the time came at the end of the movie, I was already crying. I think I cried for the last 20 minutes and I kid you not. They way Marley died reminded me so much of Ebbie, I couldn't control my emotions. I never ever cried because of a movie as much as I did with Marley & Me. My cat was sick towards the end of her life and had many complications with her kidney and thyroid, so we also had to put her to sleep.

She was kept at the hospital overnight on a Thursday. I worked the next the day and hoped she would be there when I got home, but she wasn't. I asked my parents if she was still at the vet, they said no. I asked if she was home, they said no. Tears welling up, i asked if they put her to sleep...
And I lost it. How could they without my permission? Without me there? Without my last time with her?

She was in a box in the basement wrapped in her favorite blanket. I took her out and just held her, crying and crying and crying nonstop. I couldn't believe she was gone. I could believe she wouldn't wake up. Her body was cold. Her fur had lost its sheen and her limbs were stiff. It just wasn't fair.
She wasn't like any other cat I'd seen. It was like she was made for me. I was born on 10/29, so was she. She couldn't tolerate dairy, neither can I.
She was always acted like she owned everything. When she slept in bed with me, I had to put my legs straight out in front of me, placed together so she could stretch out and lay in the middle. If my legs were apart, she would just stare at me until I did what she wanted me to. She didn't care if you were uncomfortable as long as she was. If you tried moving, she would look up and it was like she was saying, "Don't even think about it."

She always knew where her canned food was, even if you hid it. She would bat it around and that was her way of telling you she wanted it.
She was always picky about her water bowl too. It had to be filled to the rim so she could alp it up from the side. If it wasn't to the rim, she would nudge the kitchen faucet until water came out. If you didn't fill her bowl all the way, she would stare at it until you fixed it.
If you were in the middle of making the bed, she would sit on it so that the blankets would cover her up. She always managed to curl herself up into a ruffled blanket. You never knew she was in there until up picked it up. She would just look at you like you were stupid for waking her up.

When I was younger, I never treated her the way I wish I had. I always teased her to the point of her not trusting me. She always liked my mom the best because she always treated her nicely.
Towards the end of her life, I could tell she knew I loved her. I think she knew that her time was coming and spent more time with me. I knew she loved me, but I just wish I could go back and give her the love she deserved.