When My Eyes Are Closed

As my heart beats unrulingly, I realize I don't want to let this feeling escape.
I need more.
I need to feel the intoxication of it run through my veins straight through my pulsating heart.
I've always wanted someone that took my breath away with a single look, or touch, or speech.
I never imaged it before to be quite like this though.
I'm barely awake but somehow it feels like I'm living in this dream that has been brought to life.
I can feel his warm arms embracing me, pulling me closer so that I can feel the even beating of his heart.
I wonder how anyone could resist such an alluring sensation.
The anticipation of it all is simply too sweet to resist and I falter to my mercurial infatuation with him.
I seem to reject the tranquility that surrounds me because of how tedious I find everything to be.
But then I realize every time I feel the sensation racing, it's merely a fantasy in my head when my eyes are closed.
Reality comes and bites me in places I'd expect it to.
I sulk in thoughts of my loneliness and wish my fantasy could resurrect.
I ponder in the moment that creates this image of something real.
It is real, I know it is.
Why can't it be?
I close my eyes hoping for a miracle.
That my wild perception of my fictitious life could some how appear in front of me.
But I know it won't.
It can't.
The sensation I felt rush through my heart is diluted and fanciful.
I know it can never body my reality.
The reality I know never exists when my eyes are open.