Irrelevant Satisfaction

Satisfaction came in by way of attack, of shock and surprise.
To know that someone so heartless and cruel could show affection towards someone who always feared heartbreak, pleases me in the worst ways imagined.
The things I had feared before are completely irrelevant now.
The lies and deception that once inflamed my anger have completely dissipated.
I can sense the anxiety in the words but at the same time I can't tell if it's just the sense of being okay with the situation or a cry for help.
The help I longed for in the past and the residence I should have kept.
But not knowing the help I needed was already being attended to in the future befuddles me.
I know now the relief I longed for before.
That the hope of a satisfying conclusion has come in an unwanted package and been made irrevocable.
My loss and pain has created happiness.
And it frustrates me on so many levels.
But I know there's nothing I can do about it.
And although my heart cries with envy, I'm fine with the outcome and I've come to terms with it...however evasive I may I find it.
I must learned to remember: it's irrelevant and I should move on with the satisfaction I have attained.
The satisfaction of knowing that love can come in by way of attack, of shock and surprise, even if it's not to me.