I'd Be Fooling Myself

I could wipe away the tears from eyes and hold the pain in, but then I wouldn't just be fooling everyone around me, I'd be fooling myself.

I'd be fooling myself that the thought of this could easily be erased from my mind.

I'd be fooling myself that I could be okay with a decision that would change my life forever.

I'd be fooling myself for thinking that things could ever be okay again.

If you just gave in.

If you just let me try.

If you just could feel the love there once was.

I don't want to wake up for I fear real life.

I know that real life is worse than the dreams behind my eyes.

I'd be fooling myself that I could lay in bed forever and never have to face the world.

I'd be fooling myself that real life could be better than the visions in my head when I sleep.

Because when I wake, I want to fall back asleep to avoid the hurt.

I just want to close my eyes and wake up to a dream, because real life feels like the worse nightmare there ever was.

I'd be fooling myself to pretend that I was okay with living this way.

I'd be fooling myself to think that I could not be scarred.

I just want to sleep forever and never have to worry about this ever again.

But I'd be fooling myself if that were possible, because then I'd be dead.