Are you doing what you love in life?
Are you pursuing your one true passion?
When you wake up in the morning are you excited to start your day?
Or is it the exact opposite?
Is what you're pursuing something you're doing just to get by?
Just to get another paycheck?
Is money the one thing making you get out of bed?
What is stopping you from doing the one thing you truly love to do?
Ponder it.
What is stopping you?!
Are you afraid of having no money?
Are you afraid of how people might view you?
Are you afraid of failure?
Are you constantly asking yourself: "What is my purpose here?"
Of course you need money to survive.
CEO's and governments have made it an essential to live.
To move from city to city.
To get an education.
To fill your brains with knowledge of things you would never need to know.
To have a roof over your head and shoes on your feet.
To fill your stomachs to make them fat.
To make your wallet fat.
To make your head fat.
Your head is filled with greed and envy of people wealthier than you.
But why?
Why do you care if someone has more money than you as long as you're happy?
I always believed in doing what you love.
If you're not doing what you love, what's the point?
A paycheck can only fill the void for a short while and then it's gone.
Find an intervention.
Find someone who is inspirational.
Are you able to do it?
Are you able to find someone who inspires and motivates to reach your goals?
If they can be happy doing what they love, why can't you?
Some wise words once spoken to me stated: "If all goes well I should be poor, but extraordinarily happy the rest of my life. Anyone who inspires someone to do that, is okay by me."
So why not?
Why not step off the edge once and give it a shot?
What do you have to lose if you fail?
A pay check?
What have you to earn if you succeed?
Dignity.
Reassurance.
Happiness.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Sunday, July 19, 2009
If The Shoe Fits
Buying a new pair of shoes has always been a challenge for me.
What am I going to wear these with?
If they're pricey, will I wear them to their worth?
New shoes never fit the way you want them to right away.
It takes some walking in them to stretch them out and time to break them in.
It's never a comfortable process.
Sometimes you get blisters.
Sometimes you get cramped toes.
Sometimes you just feel like making someone else wear them that has bigger feet than you.
But it's your job to break them in.
They're your shoes, no one else's.
Sometimes those shoes you bought a long time ago are forgotten.
But then one day you open up your closet, and there they are.
Screaming your name.
Saying, "Pick me! Choose me! Wear me!"
And you stare at them for awhile wondering why you ever put them away.
But then you remember they didn't fit quite right because they were new.
But sometimes the new is no longer new, but old and familiar.
You decide that maybe, just maybe you are willing to put up with discomfort you once remembered.
You slip on the shoes and realize, they fit perfectly.
What am I going to wear these with?
If they're pricey, will I wear them to their worth?
New shoes never fit the way you want them to right away.
It takes some walking in them to stretch them out and time to break them in.
It's never a comfortable process.
Sometimes you get blisters.
Sometimes you get cramped toes.
Sometimes you just feel like making someone else wear them that has bigger feet than you.
But it's your job to break them in.
They're your shoes, no one else's.
Sometimes those shoes you bought a long time ago are forgotten.
But then one day you open up your closet, and there they are.
Screaming your name.
Saying, "Pick me! Choose me! Wear me!"
And you stare at them for awhile wondering why you ever put them away.
But then you remember they didn't fit quite right because they were new.
But sometimes the new is no longer new, but old and familiar.
You decide that maybe, just maybe you are willing to put up with discomfort you once remembered.
You slip on the shoes and realize, they fit perfectly.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
P.S. I Lied
Some people have a hard time showing or telling their emotions to someone.
They're afraid of getting hurt.
Of getting embarrassed.
Of having regrets.
So, instead of revealing how they really feel, they lie.
It makes it easier on themselves and usually easier on the other person too.
Unless what the other person didn't want to hear a lie.
But you can never be sure what is the truth and what is a lie.
If you asked me a question and already knew the answer, but knew I would lie...why would you ask?
It's all in the search of what you had hoped would come out of my mouth.
So, in the instance of my answer when you asked me that question, I should be honest with you now...
I lied.
They're afraid of getting hurt.
Of getting embarrassed.
Of having regrets.
So, instead of revealing how they really feel, they lie.
It makes it easier on themselves and usually easier on the other person too.
Unless what the other person didn't want to hear a lie.
But you can never be sure what is the truth and what is a lie.
If you asked me a question and already knew the answer, but knew I would lie...why would you ask?
It's all in the search of what you had hoped would come out of my mouth.
So, in the instance of my answer when you asked me that question, I should be honest with you now...
I lied.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Ebbie & Me
Written sometime between 7/8/09 and 7/13/09
I recently saw Marley & Me for the first time. I heard what happened at the end so I already prepared myself.
I had to put my cat to sleep a bout a year and a half ago so I know what it's like to lose something that was a big part of the family for a long time. I had Ebbie since I was in first grade, and having a cat for 13 years of my life, I had hard time coping.
Anyway, I knew what was coming, but I didn't know when. The anticipation was killing me. When the time came at the end of the movie, I was already crying. I think I cried for the last 20 minutes and I kid you not. They way Marley died reminded me so much of Ebbie, I couldn't control my emotions. I never ever cried because of a movie as much as I did with Marley & Me. My cat was sick towards the end of her life and had many complications with her kidney and thyroid, so we also had to put her to sleep.
She was kept at the hospital overnight on a Thursday. I worked the next the day and hoped she would be there when I got home, but she wasn't. I asked my parents if she was still at the vet, they said no. I asked if she was home, they said no. Tears welling up, i asked if they put her to sleep...
And I lost it. How could they without my permission? Without me there? Without my last time with her?
She was in a box in the basement wrapped in her favorite blanket. I took her out and just held her, crying and crying and crying nonstop. I couldn't believe she was gone. I could believe she wouldn't wake up. Her body was cold. Her fur had lost its sheen and her limbs were stiff. It just wasn't fair.
She wasn't like any other cat I'd seen. It was like she was made for me. I was born on 10/29, so was she. She couldn't tolerate dairy, neither can I.
She was always acted like she owned everything. When she slept in bed with me, I had to put my legs straight out in front of me, placed together so she could stretch out and lay in the middle. If my legs were apart, she would just stare at me until I did what she wanted me to. She didn't care if you were uncomfortable as long as she was. If you tried moving, she would look up and it was like she was saying, "Don't even think about it."
She always knew where her canned food was, even if you hid it. She would bat it around and that was her way of telling you she wanted it.
She was always picky about her water bowl too. It had to be filled to the rim so she could alp it up from the side. If it wasn't to the rim, she would nudge the kitchen faucet until water came out. If you didn't fill her bowl all the way, she would stare at it until you fixed it.
If you were in the middle of making the bed, she would sit on it so that the blankets would cover her up. She always managed to curl herself up into a ruffled blanket. You never knew she was in there until up picked it up. She would just look at you like you were stupid for waking her up.
When I was younger, I never treated her the way I wish I had. I always teased her to the point of her not trusting me. She always liked my mom the best because she always treated her nicely.
Towards the end of her life, I could tell she knew I loved her. I think she knew that her time was coming and spent more time with me. I knew she loved me, but I just wish I could go back and give her the love she deserved.
I recently saw Marley & Me for the first time. I heard what happened at the end so I already prepared myself.
I had to put my cat to sleep a bout a year and a half ago so I know what it's like to lose something that was a big part of the family for a long time. I had Ebbie since I was in first grade, and having a cat for 13 years of my life, I had hard time coping.
Anyway, I knew what was coming, but I didn't know when. The anticipation was killing me. When the time came at the end of the movie, I was already crying. I think I cried for the last 20 minutes and I kid you not. They way Marley died reminded me so much of Ebbie, I couldn't control my emotions. I never ever cried because of a movie as much as I did with Marley & Me. My cat was sick towards the end of her life and had many complications with her kidney and thyroid, so we also had to put her to sleep.
She was kept at the hospital overnight on a Thursday. I worked the next the day and hoped she would be there when I got home, but she wasn't. I asked my parents if she was still at the vet, they said no. I asked if she was home, they said no. Tears welling up, i asked if they put her to sleep...
And I lost it. How could they without my permission? Without me there? Without my last time with her?
She was in a box in the basement wrapped in her favorite blanket. I took her out and just held her, crying and crying and crying nonstop. I couldn't believe she was gone. I could believe she wouldn't wake up. Her body was cold. Her fur had lost its sheen and her limbs were stiff. It just wasn't fair.
She wasn't like any other cat I'd seen. It was like she was made for me. I was born on 10/29, so was she. She couldn't tolerate dairy, neither can I.
She was always acted like she owned everything. When she slept in bed with me, I had to put my legs straight out in front of me, placed together so she could stretch out and lay in the middle. If my legs were apart, she would just stare at me until I did what she wanted me to. She didn't care if you were uncomfortable as long as she was. If you tried moving, she would look up and it was like she was saying, "Don't even think about it."
She always knew where her canned food was, even if you hid it. She would bat it around and that was her way of telling you she wanted it.
She was always picky about her water bowl too. It had to be filled to the rim so she could alp it up from the side. If it wasn't to the rim, she would nudge the kitchen faucet until water came out. If you didn't fill her bowl all the way, she would stare at it until you fixed it.
If you were in the middle of making the bed, she would sit on it so that the blankets would cover her up. She always managed to curl herself up into a ruffled blanket. You never knew she was in there until up picked it up. She would just look at you like you were stupid for waking her up.
When I was younger, I never treated her the way I wish I had. I always teased her to the point of her not trusting me. She always liked my mom the best because she always treated her nicely.
Towards the end of her life, I could tell she knew I loved her. I think she knew that her time was coming and spent more time with me. I knew she loved me, but I just wish I could go back and give her the love she deserved.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Nothing is Made to Last
Petals on flowers wither away
Leaves on branches always fall
Bridges collapse and are rebuilt
Buildings are strong but always need repairs done
Wires eventually wear and it's time to get a new TV, or CD player, or ceiling fan
Furnaces get old
Stoves lose their heating ability
Pens run dry
And paper gets recycled
Batteries can no longer charge when the juice is gone and juice gets digested and it's time to rehydrate
Computers and phones out-date
Tires become flat
Smooth, paved roads soon hit land or sea
Most things reach their limit and are not made to last
People quit their jobs or they get fired
They move away
And the living eventually die
Nothing lasts unless you really think about it
The one exception on this earth is love
Love stands the tests of time
It lasts even after one has died and continues in the minds and hearts of others
Most things have an ending because they aren't made to last
But love is
Leaves on branches always fall
Bridges collapse and are rebuilt
Buildings are strong but always need repairs done
Wires eventually wear and it's time to get a new TV, or CD player, or ceiling fan
Furnaces get old
Stoves lose their heating ability
Pens run dry
And paper gets recycled
Batteries can no longer charge when the juice is gone and juice gets digested and it's time to rehydrate
Computers and phones out-date
Tires become flat
Smooth, paved roads soon hit land or sea
Most things reach their limit and are not made to last
People quit their jobs or they get fired
They move away
And the living eventually die
Nothing lasts unless you really think about it
The one exception on this earth is love
Love stands the tests of time
It lasts even after one has died and continues in the minds and hearts of others
Most things have an ending because they aren't made to last
But love is
Irrelevant Satisfaction
Satisfaction came in by way of attack, of shock and surprise.
To know that someone so heartless and cruel could show affection towards someone who always feared heartbreak, pleases me in the worst ways imagined.
The things I had feared before are completely irrelevant now.
The lies and deception that once inflamed my anger have completely dissipated.
I can sense the anxiety in the words but at the same time I can't tell if it's just the sense of being okay with the situation or a cry for help.
The help I longed for in the past and the residence I should have kept.
But not knowing the help I needed was already being attended to in the future befuddles me.
I know now the relief I longed for before.
That the hope of a satisfying conclusion has come in an unwanted package and been made irrevocable.
My loss and pain has created happiness.
And it frustrates me on so many levels.
But I know there's nothing I can do about it.
And although my heart cries with envy, I'm fine with the outcome and I've come to terms with it...however evasive I may I find it.
I must learned to remember: it's irrelevant and I should move on with the satisfaction I have attained.
The satisfaction of knowing that love can come in by way of attack, of shock and surprise, even if it's not to me.
To know that someone so heartless and cruel could show affection towards someone who always feared heartbreak, pleases me in the worst ways imagined.
The things I had feared before are completely irrelevant now.
The lies and deception that once inflamed my anger have completely dissipated.
I can sense the anxiety in the words but at the same time I can't tell if it's just the sense of being okay with the situation or a cry for help.
The help I longed for in the past and the residence I should have kept.
But not knowing the help I needed was already being attended to in the future befuddles me.
I know now the relief I longed for before.
That the hope of a satisfying conclusion has come in an unwanted package and been made irrevocable.
My loss and pain has created happiness.
And it frustrates me on so many levels.
But I know there's nothing I can do about it.
And although my heart cries with envy, I'm fine with the outcome and I've come to terms with it...however evasive I may I find it.
I must learned to remember: it's irrelevant and I should move on with the satisfaction I have attained.
The satisfaction of knowing that love can come in by way of attack, of shock and surprise, even if it's not to me.
When My Eyes Are Closed
As my heart beats unrulingly, I realize I don't want to let this feeling escape.
I need more.
I need to feel the intoxication of it run through my veins straight through my pulsating heart.
I've always wanted someone that took my breath away with a single look, or touch, or speech.
I never imaged it before to be quite like this though.
I'm barely awake but somehow it feels like I'm living in this dream that has been brought to life.
I can feel his warm arms embracing me, pulling me closer so that I can feel the even beating of his heart.
I wonder how anyone could resist such an alluring sensation.
The anticipation of it all is simply too sweet to resist and I falter to my mercurial infatuation with him.
I seem to reject the tranquility that surrounds me because of how tedious I find everything to be.
But then I realize every time I feel the sensation racing, it's merely a fantasy in my head when my eyes are closed.
Reality comes and bites me in places I'd expect it to.
I sulk in thoughts of my loneliness and wish my fantasy could resurrect.
I ponder in the moment that creates this image of something real.
It is real, I know it is.
Why can't it be?
I close my eyes hoping for a miracle.
That my wild perception of my fictitious life could some how appear in front of me.
But I know it won't.
It can't.
The sensation I felt rush through my heart is diluted and fanciful.
I know it can never body my reality.
The reality I know never exists when my eyes are open.
I need more.
I need to feel the intoxication of it run through my veins straight through my pulsating heart.
I've always wanted someone that took my breath away with a single look, or touch, or speech.
I never imaged it before to be quite like this though.
I'm barely awake but somehow it feels like I'm living in this dream that has been brought to life.
I can feel his warm arms embracing me, pulling me closer so that I can feel the even beating of his heart.
I wonder how anyone could resist such an alluring sensation.
The anticipation of it all is simply too sweet to resist and I falter to my mercurial infatuation with him.
I seem to reject the tranquility that surrounds me because of how tedious I find everything to be.
But then I realize every time I feel the sensation racing, it's merely a fantasy in my head when my eyes are closed.
Reality comes and bites me in places I'd expect it to.
I sulk in thoughts of my loneliness and wish my fantasy could resurrect.
I ponder in the moment that creates this image of something real.
It is real, I know it is.
Why can't it be?
I close my eyes hoping for a miracle.
That my wild perception of my fictitious life could some how appear in front of me.
But I know it won't.
It can't.
The sensation I felt rush through my heart is diluted and fanciful.
I know it can never body my reality.
The reality I know never exists when my eyes are open.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Multiple Shades of Blue/Two Shades of Grey
Multiple shades of blue
Like the swollen area around the eye after a blow to the head
Multiple shades of orange
Like the sky as the sun fades into the ground
Multiple shades of brown
Like the bruise on my foot after getting trampled on by a spiked heel
Multiple shades of green
Like your face after eating a sandwich with salmonella infested peanut butter
Multiple shades of blue
Like the color of my heart after hearing those words come straight from your mouth
And a hint of teal
In the tears that fell that day when the colors turned into two shades of grey
I'm living in a world that's two shades of grey
With children holding big red balloons
And folks that say "Hey!"
But who cares about color
And who knows what that means
Because rainbows in the sky
Aren't always what the seem
I'm living in a world that's two shades of grey
Where circles and lines connect
And people mean what they say
So say what you mean
And mean what you say
Say what you feel
Because feeling's okay
You say what you feel
You feel what you need
Because needing's a feeling
But feelings recede
Like the swollen area around the eye after a blow to the head
Multiple shades of orange
Like the sky as the sun fades into the ground
Multiple shades of brown
Like the bruise on my foot after getting trampled on by a spiked heel
Multiple shades of green
Like your face after eating a sandwich with salmonella infested peanut butter
Multiple shades of blue
Like the color of my heart after hearing those words come straight from your mouth
And a hint of teal
In the tears that fell that day when the colors turned into two shades of grey
I'm living in a world that's two shades of grey
With children holding big red balloons
And folks that say "Hey!"
But who cares about color
And who knows what that means
Because rainbows in the sky
Aren't always what the seem
I'm living in a world that's two shades of grey
Where circles and lines connect
And people mean what they say
So say what you mean
And mean what you say
Say what you feel
Because feeling's okay
You say what you feel
You feel what you need
Because needing's a feeling
But feelings recede
Friday, July 10, 2009
Etiquette Part 4 - Under-disciplined Children in Public Places
Working at a restaurant, I see all kinds of people. From people who love to complain about service, yet still come back, to please customers who tip extra every time. There's rude people and people who are patient beyond belief, and then there is their children.
Where do I begin? I simply love those children who come in, are well behaved, and even say thank you when they're handed a menu. But the one thing I have little patience for is misbehaving children in public.
For instance, I was working one night where this little boy, maybe 4 years old, would not behave. He complained about his food, his drink, his chair...everything. He would not stop crying if he didn't get his way. His parents constantly left the table trying to get him to calm down but it seemed nothing would work. They even spent $2 on the 25 cent M&M machine to get him to shut up.
At one point, his mother asked if there was a coloring book he could have. So, I gave one for her son and one for her daughter who was probably around 7 years old; which by the way, was also trying to get her brother to calm down. The daughter came back once to get another box of crayons because her brother broke them all, and then came back again because he took hers and wouldn't share.
I kept thinking, honestly, haven't these kids' parents taught this unruly child any manners?
I would hate to have a kid like that and I would hate to be the mother of the child that EVERYONE was staring at. If your child is this unruly in public, I have a suggestion.
Take him through the McDonald's drive thru, get a babysitter, and leave him home. It would save you embarrassment and annoyance for everyone around you.
That, or learn to keep your kid under control.
I understand that kids have their temper tantrums, but when they last for an hour or so while you're in public, something needs to change.
Where do I begin? I simply love those children who come in, are well behaved, and even say thank you when they're handed a menu. But the one thing I have little patience for is misbehaving children in public.
For instance, I was working one night where this little boy, maybe 4 years old, would not behave. He complained about his food, his drink, his chair...everything. He would not stop crying if he didn't get his way. His parents constantly left the table trying to get him to calm down but it seemed nothing would work. They even spent $2 on the 25 cent M&M machine to get him to shut up.
At one point, his mother asked if there was a coloring book he could have. So, I gave one for her son and one for her daughter who was probably around 7 years old; which by the way, was also trying to get her brother to calm down. The daughter came back once to get another box of crayons because her brother broke them all, and then came back again because he took hers and wouldn't share.
I kept thinking, honestly, haven't these kids' parents taught this unruly child any manners?
I would hate to have a kid like that and I would hate to be the mother of the child that EVERYONE was staring at. If your child is this unruly in public, I have a suggestion.
Take him through the McDonald's drive thru, get a babysitter, and leave him home. It would save you embarrassment and annoyance for everyone around you.
That, or learn to keep your kid under control.
I understand that kids have their temper tantrums, but when they last for an hour or so while you're in public, something needs to change.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Change
In recent discoveries on my blog on MySpace...and yes I said MySpace...I found a "blog" where I posted a survey. I posted it on April 15, 2006, over 3 years ago. So, to see how much I have changed, I decided to allow you readers out there to enjoy my old survey in contrast with the new one. Enjoy.
OLD SURVEY
Ultimate Opposite Sex Survey (for girls)
--Your Favorite--
Hair Color:: light brown...maybe
Eye Color:: brown
(Their)Music Genre Preference:: anything but goth/screaming music
Height(estimate):: over 6'1"
Age:: well now within 3 years of my age
Personality Type:: fun/spontaneous, funny, very nice, caring...
--This or That--
Older or Younger:: older
Romantic or Horndog:: i'm a hopeless romantic so he has to be too
Smart or Stupid:: smart but not too smart
Fat or Skinny:: well built...not fat and not anorexic looking
Skinny but Muscular or Big and Muscular::
i kinda just answered that
Punk or Preppy:: preppy
The Big Picture or the Little Things:: little things are what count
Flowers/Candy or Big Expensive Present:: not big expensive but not flowers/candy
Mixtape or Burned CD:: burned cd
Love or Lust:: somewhere in the middle
Emotional or Just Not:: middle
Sincere or Jokester:: middle
Hott and mean or Ugly and sweet:: how about nice looking and genuine?
Sexy or Just Cute:: middle
Arse or Abs:: abs
Hair or Hands:: idk what that's asking but hands i guess
Dimples or Eyes:: eyes
Biceps or Calves/Thighs:: biceps
Teeth or Nose(some people are just wierd) :: teeth
Clean Shaven or Scruffy:: shaven
Rugged or Prim and Proper:: middle
Countryboy or Cityboy:: how about mason city boy?
Date alone or With Friends:: alone
Mama's Boy or Rebel Without A Cause:: middle
--Have You Ever--
Dumped a guy because he liked you too much:: no
Loved a guy because he stalked you:: no
Loved a guy because he hated you:: yes
Asked your friend's crush out:: sort of
Lead a guy on for kicks:: yes
Asked a guy out purely because he was hott:: nah
Flirted with guys even though you had a boyfriend:: sort of
Lied about not having a boyfriend:: no
Lied about having one:: no
Cheated:: no
Been Cheated on:: no
Had a crush on a gay guy:: i hope not
--Their Clothing(yes/no)--
Boxers?:: yes
Briefs?:: no
Hat?:: no
Skater Shoes?:: no
Pimp Shoes?:: no
Band Shirts?:: yes
Vintage shirts?:: yes
Southpole/um..other thug clothes..?:: no
Dixie Outfitters/Big Johnsons?:: idk that one
Independent/DC?:: yes?
S&M/Little Devil?:: what?
Fox/Thor?:: ?
Jeans or Shorts?:: yes
--Be Honest--
Would you ever date a guy for his money?:: no
Would you ever date a guy for his social status?:: yes
Have you ever liked hanging out with your bf's friends more than him?:: yes
Have you ever pretended to like somebody to make them feel better?::maybe?
Have you called a girl a whore, when you were screwing lots of guys?:: no
Do looks matter?:: a little yes
Are you honestly scared of being dumped?:: kinda
Does size matter?:: i'd like to think so
Do you avoid 'situations' with ugly guys?:: guilty
Are you ashamed to be seen with your ugly friends?:: no
Are you ashamed for being ashamed?(you better be):: yes
Do you hide things from your crushes/guy friends/bf?:: yes
Do you lie about masturbation for attention or false innocence?:: no
Do you really want a guy to say if those jeans make your butt look fat?:: no
Are you dissapointed when your bf doesn't say I love you right away?:: no
Wanna be a virgin till marriage?:: it's been successful so far
Do you really love the guys everytime that you say it?:: i've never said it
Do you dream about your crushes/bfs/guy friends?:: omg yes
Would you makeout with a guy friend just to get it over with/curiosity?:: i don't think so
Does this survey suck nuts?:: nope
NEW SURVEY
Ultimate Opposite Sex Survey (for girls)
--Your Favorite--
Hair Color:: brown
Eye Color:: brown or blue
(Their)Music Genre Preference:: i'm good with anything as long as he doesn't make me listen to screamo goth shit
Height(estimate):: at least 6' 2"
Age:: well i've liked people who have been up to 5 years older than me but that's the oldest i'll go for now but i've also liked people 2 years younger than me so...
Personality Type:: just look at my perfect man list and you'll know...ps it's not online so good luck finding it
--This or That--
Older or Younger:: depends but i'd prefer older
Romantic or Horndog:: definitely romantic
Smart or Stupid:: smart
Fat or Skinny:: neither, well built
Skinny but Muscular or Big and Muscular:: well porportioned
Punk or Preppy:: either, doesn't matter
The Big Picture or the Little Things:: "it's the little things that count" -wedding singer
Flowers/Candy or Big Expensive Present:: i'm good with either
Mixtape or Burned CD:: mixtape? wow this is old...how about a playlist?
Love or Lust:: love love love love
Emotional or Just Not:: Excerpt from the perfect man list: "Is in touch with his feelings but doesn't cry more thanI do, and I don't cry that often."
Sincere or Jokester:: sincere
Hott and mean or Ugly and sweet:: neither, i'd take an average looking guy that's kind over both of those
Sexy or Just Cute:: i'm good with just cute
Arse or Abs:: abs
Hair or Hands:: those don't compare...
Dimples or Eyes:: these don't either but i'd go with nice eyes over dimples
Biceps or Calves/Thighs:: gotta love them arms
Teeth or Nose(some people are just wierd) :: teeth, def teeth
Clean Shaven or Scruffy:: i like both
Rugged or Prim and Proper:: again, i don't mind either...okay wait, he can't be like uptight proper tho
Countryboy or Cityboy:: cityboy
Date alone or With Friends:: alone but group dates are fun every once in awhile
Mama's Boy or Rebel Without A Cause:: def middle
--Have You Ever--
Dumped a guy because he liked you too much:: well i wasn't really dating him but i def shyed away because he was too clingy
Loved a guy because he stalked you:: no ...that's weird
Loved a guy because he hated you:: i wouldn't say hate but he didn't like me
Asked your friend's crush out:: long time ago...completely wrong tho, i'm prefer not dating someone that one of my friends like or has been with
Lead a guy on for kicks:: not for kicks, it was hard to get out of
Asked a guy out purely because he was hott:: well i hung out with a guy cuz i thought he was hot and that was about the only reason haha
Flirted with guys even though you had a boyfriend:: probably did it and didn't realize it
Lied about not having a boyfriend:: no, that's dumb
Lied about having one:: nope
Cheated:: never have, never will
Been Cheated on:: yup
Had a crush on a gay guy:: probably...
--Their Clothing(yes/no)--
Boxers?:: yes
Briefs?:: eh, no tighty whities
Hat?:: sure
Skater Shoes?:: sure
Pimp Shoes?:: no?
Band Shirts?:: sure
Vintage shirts?:: yup
Southpole/um..other thug clothes..?:: nah
Dixie Outfitters/Big Johnsons?:: idk that one
Independent/DC?:: don't know that one either...
S&M/Little Devil?:: or this one...
Fox/Thor?:: ummmm...
Jeans or Shorts?:: yes
--Be Honest--
Would you ever date a guy for his money?:: well in this economy....haha no jk
Would you ever date a guy for his social status?:: i don't think so
Have you ever liked hanging out with your bf's friends more than him?:: sometimes
Have you ever pretended to like somebody to make them feel better?:: i've hung out with them but nothing more
Have you called a girl a whore, when you were screwing lots of guys?:: no way...if i have, it's a lie
Do looks matter?:: yes, a little...there has to be some physical attraction to the person
Are you honestly scared of being dumped?:: well i don't like it...
Does size matter?:: yeah actually it does for some things
Do you avoid 'situations' with ugly guys?::well, i wouldn't try and get with a guy i wasn't attracted to physically if that's what you're asking...
Are you ashamed to be seen with your ugly friends?:: none of my friends are ugly
Are you ashamed for being ashamed?(you better be):: N/A
Do you hide things from your crushes/guy friends/bf?:: of course, he can't know EVERYTHING
Do you lie about masturbation for attention or false innocence?:: no, everyone does it and if they don't, they're missing out haha
Do you really want a guy to say if those jeans make your butt look fat?:: you know, that would almost be a compliment considering mine is very small.
Are you dissapointed when your bf doesn't say I love you right away?:: a little, but i'd want him to say it when he's ready
Wanna be a virgin till marriage?:: well, about that...
Do you really love the guys everytime that you say it?:: yes
Do you dream about your crushes/bfs/guy friends?:: um yeah...
Would you makeout with a guy friend just to get it over with/curiosity?:: idk, it depends if we had feelings for each other...
Does this survey suck nuts?: this is a stupid question
OLD SURVEY
Ultimate Opposite Sex Survey (for girls)
--Your Favorite--
Hair Color:: light brown...maybe
Eye Color:: brown
(Their)Music Genre Preference:: anything but goth/screaming music
Height(estimate):: over 6'1"
Age:: well now within 3 years of my age
Personality Type:: fun/spontaneous, funny, very nice, caring...
--This or That--
Older or Younger:: older
Romantic or Horndog:: i'm a hopeless romantic so he has to be too
Smart or Stupid:: smart but not too smart
Fat or Skinny:: well built...not fat and not anorexic looking
Skinny but Muscular or Big and Muscular::
i kinda just answered that
Punk or Preppy:: preppy
The Big Picture or the Little Things:: little things are what count
Flowers/Candy or Big Expensive Present:: not big expensive but not flowers/candy
Mixtape or Burned CD:: burned cd
Love or Lust:: somewhere in the middle
Emotional or Just Not:: middle
Sincere or Jokester:: middle
Hott and mean or Ugly and sweet:: how about nice looking and genuine?
Sexy or Just Cute:: middle
Arse or Abs:: abs
Hair or Hands:: idk what that's asking but hands i guess
Dimples or Eyes:: eyes
Biceps or Calves/Thighs:: biceps
Teeth or Nose(some people are just wierd) :: teeth
Clean Shaven or Scruffy:: shaven
Rugged or Prim and Proper:: middle
Countryboy or Cityboy:: how about mason city boy?
Date alone or With Friends:: alone
Mama's Boy or Rebel Without A Cause:: middle
--Have You Ever--
Dumped a guy because he liked you too much:: no
Loved a guy because he stalked you:: no
Loved a guy because he hated you:: yes
Asked your friend's crush out:: sort of
Lead a guy on for kicks:: yes
Asked a guy out purely because he was hott:: nah
Flirted with guys even though you had a boyfriend:: sort of
Lied about not having a boyfriend:: no
Lied about having one:: no
Cheated:: no
Been Cheated on:: no
Had a crush on a gay guy:: i hope not
--Their Clothing(yes/no)--
Boxers?:: yes
Briefs?:: no
Hat?:: no
Skater Shoes?:: no
Pimp Shoes?:: no
Band Shirts?:: yes
Vintage shirts?:: yes
Southpole/um..other thug clothes..?:: no
Dixie Outfitters/Big Johnsons?:: idk that one
Independent/DC?:: yes?
S&M/Little Devil?:: what?
Fox/Thor?:: ?
Jeans or Shorts?:: yes
--Be Honest--
Would you ever date a guy for his money?:: no
Would you ever date a guy for his social status?:: yes
Have you ever liked hanging out with your bf's friends more than him?:: yes
Have you ever pretended to like somebody to make them feel better?::maybe?
Have you called a girl a whore, when you were screwing lots of guys?:: no
Do looks matter?:: a little yes
Are you honestly scared of being dumped?:: kinda
Does size matter?:: i'd like to think so
Do you avoid 'situations' with ugly guys?:: guilty
Are you ashamed to be seen with your ugly friends?:: no
Are you ashamed for being ashamed?(you better be):: yes
Do you hide things from your crushes/guy friends/bf?:: yes
Do you lie about masturbation for attention or false innocence?:: no
Do you really want a guy to say if those jeans make your butt look fat?:: no
Are you dissapointed when your bf doesn't say I love you right away?:: no
Wanna be a virgin till marriage?:: it's been successful so far
Do you really love the guys everytime that you say it?:: i've never said it
Do you dream about your crushes/bfs/guy friends?:: omg yes
Would you makeout with a guy friend just to get it over with/curiosity?:: i don't think so
Does this survey suck nuts?:: nope
NEW SURVEY
Ultimate Opposite Sex Survey (for girls)
--Your Favorite--
Hair Color:: brown
Eye Color:: brown or blue
(Their)Music Genre Preference:: i'm good with anything as long as he doesn't make me listen to screamo goth shit
Height(estimate):: at least 6' 2"
Age:: well i've liked people who have been up to 5 years older than me but that's the oldest i'll go for now but i've also liked people 2 years younger than me so...
Personality Type:: just look at my perfect man list and you'll know...ps it's not online so good luck finding it
--This or That--
Older or Younger:: depends but i'd prefer older
Romantic or Horndog:: definitely romantic
Smart or Stupid:: smart
Fat or Skinny:: neither, well built
Skinny but Muscular or Big and Muscular:: well porportioned
Punk or Preppy:: either, doesn't matter
The Big Picture or the Little Things:: "it's the little things that count" -wedding singer
Flowers/Candy or Big Expensive Present:: i'm good with either
Mixtape or Burned CD:: mixtape? wow this is old...how about a playlist?
Love or Lust:: love love love love
Emotional or Just Not:: Excerpt from the perfect man list: "Is in touch with his feelings but doesn't cry more thanI do, and I don't cry that often."
Sincere or Jokester:: sincere
Hott and mean or Ugly and sweet:: neither, i'd take an average looking guy that's kind over both of those
Sexy or Just Cute:: i'm good with just cute
Arse or Abs:: abs
Hair or Hands:: those don't compare...
Dimples or Eyes:: these don't either but i'd go with nice eyes over dimples
Biceps or Calves/Thighs:: gotta love them arms
Teeth or Nose(some people are just wierd) :: teeth, def teeth
Clean Shaven or Scruffy:: i like both
Rugged or Prim and Proper:: again, i don't mind either...okay wait, he can't be like uptight proper tho
Countryboy or Cityboy:: cityboy
Date alone or With Friends:: alone but group dates are fun every once in awhile
Mama's Boy or Rebel Without A Cause:: def middle
--Have You Ever--
Dumped a guy because he liked you too much:: well i wasn't really dating him but i def shyed away because he was too clingy
Loved a guy because he stalked you:: no ...that's weird
Loved a guy because he hated you:: i wouldn't say hate but he didn't like me
Asked your friend's crush out:: long time ago...completely wrong tho, i'm prefer not dating someone that one of my friends like or has been with
Lead a guy on for kicks:: not for kicks, it was hard to get out of
Asked a guy out purely because he was hott:: well i hung out with a guy cuz i thought he was hot and that was about the only reason haha
Flirted with guys even though you had a boyfriend:: probably did it and didn't realize it
Lied about not having a boyfriend:: no, that's dumb
Lied about having one:: nope
Cheated:: never have, never will
Been Cheated on:: yup
Had a crush on a gay guy:: probably...
--Their Clothing(yes/no)--
Boxers?:: yes
Briefs?:: eh, no tighty whities
Hat?:: sure
Skater Shoes?:: sure
Pimp Shoes?:: no?
Band Shirts?:: sure
Vintage shirts?:: yup
Southpole/um..other thug clothes..?:: nah
Dixie Outfitters/Big Johnsons?:: idk that one
Independent/DC?:: don't know that one either...
S&M/Little Devil?:: or this one...
Fox/Thor?:: ummmm...
Jeans or Shorts?:: yes
--Be Honest--
Would you ever date a guy for his money?:: well in this economy....haha no jk
Would you ever date a guy for his social status?:: i don't think so
Have you ever liked hanging out with your bf's friends more than him?:: sometimes
Have you ever pretended to like somebody to make them feel better?:: i've hung out with them but nothing more
Have you called a girl a whore, when you were screwing lots of guys?:: no way...if i have, it's a lie
Do looks matter?:: yes, a little...there has to be some physical attraction to the person
Are you honestly scared of being dumped?:: well i don't like it...
Does size matter?:: yeah actually it does for some things
Do you avoid 'situations' with ugly guys?::well, i wouldn't try and get with a guy i wasn't attracted to physically if that's what you're asking...
Are you ashamed to be seen with your ugly friends?:: none of my friends are ugly
Are you ashamed for being ashamed?(you better be):: N/A
Do you hide things from your crushes/guy friends/bf?:: of course, he can't know EVERYTHING
Do you lie about masturbation for attention or false innocence?:: no, everyone does it and if they don't, they're missing out haha
Do you really want a guy to say if those jeans make your butt look fat?:: you know, that would almost be a compliment considering mine is very small.
Are you dissapointed when your bf doesn't say I love you right away?:: a little, but i'd want him to say it when he's ready
Wanna be a virgin till marriage?:: well, about that...
Do you really love the guys everytime that you say it?:: yes
Do you dream about your crushes/bfs/guy friends?:: um yeah...
Would you makeout with a guy friend just to get it over with/curiosity?:: idk, it depends if we had feelings for each other...
Does this survey suck nuts?: this is a stupid question
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Under the Moonlight*
Sitting in the moonlight
Listening to the night
Listening to the quiet
The crickets
The wind
The snoozes of the birds
Feeling the night air
Feeling it on your face
Feeling it on your skin
As it tingles
As it chills
Sense the calm
Sense the serenity
Sense the peace
Under the moonlight
Under the stars
Sitting
Listening
Feeling
Sensing the night
Under the moonlight
*Inspired by Thomas Mirowski
Listening to the night
Listening to the quiet
The crickets
The wind
The snoozes of the birds
Feeling the night air
Feeling it on your face
Feeling it on your skin
As it tingles
As it chills
Sense the calm
Sense the serenity
Sense the peace
Under the moonlight
Under the stars
Sitting
Listening
Feeling
Sensing the night
Under the moonlight
*Inspired by Thomas Mirowski
Dark Night's End
Shadows in the dark
Movement in the night
Stillness in the dawn
Nothings in the lights
When the sun goes down
The fun begins
The streets are full
But full of sins
Full of joy
Full like the moon
People forget
That sun comes soon
The shadows are real
Real with the light
And the dark is over
Goodbye night
Movement in the night
Stillness in the dawn
Nothings in the lights
When the sun goes down
The fun begins
The streets are full
But full of sins
Full of joy
Full like the moon
People forget
That sun comes soon
The shadows are real
Real with the light
And the dark is over
Goodbye night
Petal Picker
He loves me
He loves me not
He loves me
He loves...
And it continues
With each petal
With each hope and wish
One by one they fall
Floating on air currents
Until they reach the floor
Until they reach the bottom
Until the wish is fulfilled
Or not...
He loves me
He loves me not
The petals are torn
They fall one by one
Until there's none
He loves me...
Not
He loves me not
He loves me
He loves...
And it continues
With each petal
With each hope and wish
One by one they fall
Floating on air currents
Until they reach the floor
Until they reach the bottom
Until the wish is fulfilled
Or not...
He loves me
He loves me not
The petals are torn
They fall one by one
Until there's none
He loves me...
Not
Iowa Sunset
Growing up in Iowa...
No valleys
No oceans
No mountains do I see
Only fields of corn
And patches of trees in the country make up the landscape
Wait until the sun sets
The sunsets...
They create a picture
In the distance
In the sky
The clouds sink down
They appear as mountains in the distance
The sky lights up
Like a horizontal rainbow
Yellow, orange, pink
Light greens and blues
Then it fades into the ground
The night begins
No valleys
No oceans
No mountains do I see
Only fields of corn
And patches of trees in the country make up the landscape
Wait until the sun sets
The sunsets...
They create a picture
In the distance
In the sky
The clouds sink down
They appear as mountains in the distance
The sky lights up
Like a horizontal rainbow
Yellow, orange, pink
Light greens and blues
Then it fades into the ground
The night begins
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