Nostalgia Part 1 - High School

I used to think that my best friends in middle school to high school would be my best friends forever.
I thought, what could be better than this?
Sleepovers.
Movie nights.
Surprise birthday parties.
Crazy nick names for boys.
Comforting each other at midnight when one of those boys broke someone's heart.
Sitting together at lunch everyday.
Cheering on the band at basketball games. (lol)
These were my best friends.
Nothing could tear us apart.
I even had all of my bride's maids picked out.

Then something happened.
And to this day I'm unaware of the exact reason why it happened.
We fell apart.
The group of friends I used to consider my friends for life ended.
I could blame the distance that college made but I don't think that was entirely it.
It started my senior year.
I could feel it.
I was hanging out with different people.
They were hanging out with different people.
The only thing that kept us "friends" was our history and just happening to be in the same classes.

The bond between us was slipping.
We stopped hanging out just to do nothing.
We stopped having group get-togethers.
We stopped talking.
We stopped talking.
We stopped talking.

Maybe there was a reason for why we stopped talking.
Maybe after graduation I found out who my true friends were.
The ones that mattered all along.
The ones that truly cared about me.
The ones that really are my friends for life.
Maybe I'm wrong.
But how do explain how many friends I have from high school now?
How do you explain that in high school the group of my "best friends" consisted of about 8 people and of those friends, I only consider 2 of them my best friends now?
How do you explain that?

What went wrong?
What changed?
Did I change?
Did she change?
Did we change?
But what does change have to do with it?
She was my best friend.
She was my best friend.
She was my BEST friend.

They were my girls.
They were my friends.

Dear People On the Top Floor:

Dear people on the top floor:

I hate you.
Okay, well maybe not entirely since I don't know you, but I would rather not have a somewhat hatred towards you so maybe we can do something about the things I need to complain about.
All I ever hear from you is annoying, crappy rap music being played with unnecessary and overbearing blasting bass.
Right now it is 10:53 AM on a Friday and I just got back from class like a half hour ago.
And already you're blasting music!
Why? It's the morning. Some people are still sleeping to avoid a hang over from last night.
I hear a shower going. Okay, that's understandable that you want to listen to music while you get ready.
Wake up call: You're not at your mom's house anymore where no one can hear your loud effing music!
There are other people who live in the same vicinity as you do that don't want to hear your annoying bass blaring.
Sometimes your music is so loud that it sounds so clear as if it were coming from my own room.
Also, what the hell is that barbaric sounding thud that I always hear?
I know you've vacuumed and dropped it before which made a loud thud.
But really, are you cage fighting?
Are you bowling?
Do you have elephants avoiding a mouse?
What the hell are you doing that is making that much noise?
I'd appreciate a little less noise coming from above me and around me and through my entire apartment.
I've avoided calling in a noise complaint thus far this semester, and I've been very tolerable of your antics. And I'm very understandable that you have parties, after all, I just turned 21 and I too know how to get crazy.
I don't want to be a bitch, and I'm sure you're not meaning to be obnoxious, ignorant and self-absorbed idiots, I would just enjoy a less club-like atmosphere in my living quarters.
If this continues next semester, I may have to turn you in for disturbing the peace, rather lack there of.

Thank you, oh so very much.

Biological Clock...?

So I'm sitting here on blogger.com and I'm flipping through blog spots by clicking "Next Blog."

The first couple are from Asian girls.
Theses blogs were just random, not really about anything, but they were just done by Asian girls, not that I have anything against Asian girls, after all, one of my friends is Asian...I'm thinking, this is odd, why all the Asian girl blogs?

Then I get a bunch of blogs about writers and books and librarians and stuff.
These are just random things people like to write, Something like that....I'm thinking, this is odd, is there some connection with me because I'm also a writer? Why all the "writer's" blogs?

The next few are of babies.
These blogs are from new parents and their stories of their new babies with a day to day update on how they're growing...I'm thinking, this is odd, why all the Baby blogs?

The next few are family blogs.
You know, a blog dedicated to a family's life. They got a new dog, they bought a new house...yadda yadda yadda...I'm thinking, this is odd, why all the family blogs?

So I keep clicking "Next Blog" and it continues to be about families and babies. And I realized, there are A LOT of blogs dedicated to families and their new babies. And that got me thinking about a few things...

Does the Blogger Web site group blogs together for the "Next Blog" thing? Perhaps, maybe...that is very likely...or maybe it's a sign that my biological clock is ticking...

I have been reading the 4th Twilight book. WARNING: Spoiler, skip to next paragraph if you don't want to know what happens. I'm at the part where Bella just had her baby and it tells how connected her and Edward are to her. I'm not saying I want a baby right now, after all, I'm still in college and waaaay in debt. But I'm so involved in this book that I'm envious of what is happening. I want a baby, someday. I want to have what they have. The love for each other and their love for another life they've created.

I've also been watching a lot of wedding shows like Say Yes to the Dress and My Fair Wedding...and Cake Boss which isn't really a wedding show but it's close enough...cake, wedding...sure (PS, I don't watch Bridezillas). And I want that too! I'm envious of what those women have in those shows.

I want to be married.
I want to have my own family.
And I want to share it on a blog spot.
OK, maybe not that last part...but who knows, maybe someday?

Anyway...these blog spots that I came across also made me envious. Although I'm only 21, I'm very looking forward to being married and starting a family someday. And there is only one person that I keep seeing in my future and it makes me excited. My heart tells me I want it now, but I know in my head that the smartest thing to do is to wait. I know I'm unprepared for my own family. I know these things take money, time, and emotional stability.

Sometimes I just wish that my biological clock would shut up and wait, like I know I need to do.

Until the Sun Goes Down

I'll be with you forever, until the stars come out
Until the earth implodes, until the heavens shout
"Hallelujah!"
"Hallelujah!"
I've found the love of my life
What we have now is worth all the past strife
I love you
I love you
Until the sun stops shining, until it falls from the sky
I love you forever, until the day that I die
You save me
You save me
From the unhappiness I once was feeling
I feel so high, I go beyond the ceiling
Take my hand and hold it tight
Be with me until there are no more nights
Until there are no more dawns, and no more days
I love you
I love you
And forever I'll stay
Until the sun goes down and doesn't rise again
You and me together, until the very end

Dear Thoughts:

Dear Thoughts:

Why have you run away from me?
I would like to write more blogs, but you have vanished.
Come back to me, please?
It's not like I don't have time to write things because I do.
Sometimes I just get too lazy to sit down and type/write.
But suddenly, a gush of thought came upon swift wings and billowed into my brain!
Alas! The creative juices flow!
But that didn't happen, because you ran away.
Why?
Why?
Why have you run away?
I'm running.
I'm running.
Slow down, I'm running!
Let me catch you.
Let me run with you.
Slow down your pace so that I have time to think.
Tell time to slow down.
Or tell it to speed up so that I can relax for a month.
And perhaps I can finally finally put you into words.
Sincerely, Kacie.

PS - I'm very disappointed in you for only allowing me to write one blog last month, we'll talk about this later. Okay, Love you, bye!