It feels like my heart has been pulled from my chest and shoved in my stomach. The thought of never seeing him again causes a painstaking beat in my heart. It's hard to lose a loved one.
But I never knew it could be hard to lose someone who's not yours, who never was your to begin with, and probably never would be yours in the future.
After all, someone else has his heart. But I know that's not it. There's something about the way he looks at me...the way he speaks to me.
It's in his voice.
I know it is.
That's why this is so hard. I don't want to lose it. I can't stand the thought of losing him. Every time he's around, a smile is brought to my face and my eyes light up.
It's true what they say - you never knew what you had until it's gone.
But I never had him. He wasn't mine...never was to begin with, and probably never would have been in the future.
So, why do I feel like I've been raped of the one I care about most? Why do I feel like there's more...more than what people see or know...more than what I can explain or feel...but there's the feeling and knowing he's not even mine.
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