I Died Today

Tuesday, January 6, 2009 at 7:42pm

The other night I had a dream where I went skiing with my dad and my sister. I fell in the snow and as I'm lying there, a spinning blade-like fan comes at my face, chops my face off, and I die. I arrive home with my dad and sister and realize I'm dead. It's a weird dream, but stay with me.
The crazy thing is that in my dream, I had 24 hours to call and see the people that I love and feel are most important in my life. The people who don't really matter can't hear or see me.
The very first person on the scene was Jordan. When she arrived at my house, I told her I was dead. She seemed a little confused so I turned to my dad and asked, "Are you sure I'm dead?" He confirmed that I was. She didn't show any emotion whatsoever, she just rather sat there in awe.
The next person that came to my house was Matt. I didn't call him. No one told him I was dead. He was just there. It's as if he knew he had to be there. He sat there and just kept staring at me and then back at the floor not knowing what to do or think.
The next person I called was Alyssah. She answered the phone and I began telling her she needed to come over but she couldn't hear me. I started freaking out. She had to be there; there was no way that she couldn't be there. I hung up the phone and immediately told Jordan to call her.
As Jordan called Alyssah, I called Kevin; he wouldn't answer. I called time and time again, but he still wouldn't answer. I finally gave up because there was no use anymore, I couldn't get through to him.
As I finally hung up my phone, Alyssah arrived. I looked at my dad and asked again, "Are you really sure I'm dead?" He said yes. I looked at Alyssah and said, "I'm dead." I've never seen her cry like that before. It killed me so bad to see her like that. I keep telling her it's going to be alright, but she keeps crying.
I go outside and wait for my mom to come home from work and standing on the corner, I see Alex. I yell for her but she doesn't respond. I run to her but she doesn't see me. I stand directly in front of her and she walks away. It truly broke my heart that she didn't know, and there was nothing I could do about it.
I went back to my house and then I called Alycia. I told her to grab Lindsay and some over right away. Without any hesitation whatsoever, she said okay. I was kind of in shock that she didn't ask any questions, she just said, okay. As they arrived, I kept thinking that Nora needed to be there. I wanted to call her but I knew she wouldn't be able to come over because she was in Minnesota. I kept freaking out and I started to cry because she was too far away. Before I could call her or think of calling anyone else, I woke up.
In my dream I kept telling myself it was all my fault that I died because I kept thinking about who would really care and who would be there if I died.
As morbid as that sounds, I sometimes wonder, who would come to my funeral if I died tomorrow? And I know for a fact that anyone at their lowest days has thought that to themselves before.
My dream gave me an excuse to think about those I truly care about and I wonder if they care the same amount for me.
Everyone in my dream are people who are some of the most wonderful people I've met and I don't know what I would do without them in my life.
Those of you who weren't in my dream but I tagged, know you are some of my favorite people I've ever known. I'm truly blessed to have known you and when the day comes that we part, know you will always have a special place in my heart.

(Obviously this was meant for facebook.)