I Lost Everything

Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 4:37pm

If there were ever a choice that I had to make where the result didn’t hurt anyone, I would choose not to choose. I would hide my pain and I would let it slip by. It seems with every heartbeat, I grow weaker and weaker and the only thing that can reverse my pain is you. You’re the reason my heart aches everyday and it’s because of the choice that was made. It was a choice that I wish I never had to make because the pain is so excruciating. In my mind, I pretend it didn’t happen just to avoid the tears and the loneliness. I try to stop thinking of you and everything we shared together but you meant so much to me that I can’t. I can’t rid you from my mind because if I do, I don’t know what else to do. With every waking minute, I fantasize about the time we once shared, a time that is forever behind us. I try to accept the fact that love is lost and no longer mine.

Wishing no longer exists.
Love is but a phrase.
Satisfaction cannot be completed.
Happiness is no longer an option.
The pain is real.
What my heart has to offer is vital.

You are blind to what I have sacrificed for you.

I gave you my heart, I rediscovered trust, and I lost everything. I lost my heart and the bliss I once felt. I’m unable to feel satisfaction. I’m unable to let go of the past. I can’t open up to anything new. I want to be happy. I want to live again. I just don’t want to hurt anymore.

Anyone you give your heart to, I hope they accept it with everything they are. I wish you a world full of joy and love and I hope you feel contentment. If in the end you reside alone, know I’ll always be there, I’ll always have a place in my heart for you, and I’ll always have love to give.