Phases

Thursday, January 8, 2009 at 6:34pm

The other day my mom told me I was going through a phase. She thinks I'm going through a "Goth phase." Here is why she think I'm going through a phase - I got my nose pierced, I like to wear black fingernail polish once in awhile, I colored my hair pretty dark, my taste in music is expanding, I am going to get a tattoo, etc, etc...
1 - I'm not going through a "Goth phase." If I were, it would be much more extreme than black fingernail polish. I don't think I'm going through much of a phase at all. I get bored with my everyday life and change something about it.
2 - I like changing my look. I like discovering new things. I enjoy getting a rise out of people when they've seen what I've done to myself.If I'm going through a "phase," cool, whatever.
I'm at a point in my life where I'm trying to develop, discover, sense and enjoy who I really am. It's the perfect time to do so. You shouldn't do that in high school and you should try not to after college.

High school is when you think it's the real "days of our lives.” You think it's a time when everything will fall into place. It's supposed to be the "best time of your life," but it's not. You've still got a lot of maturing to do physically, emotionally, and mentally. It's not the best time for changing who you are because you're still growing up. High school of course is a time to prepare yourself for college but it's also a time to relax and have fun. After high school is when real life hits.

College is the best time for phases. You discover who your true friends are, you discover what your true passions are, and most of all you discover who you are. That's what phases are for. You're not going to know right away, but you have those four years to develop who you are and want to be.

That's what I'm doing. I've been through a lot of tough things in the last couple of years, but guess what, I'm going to go through a hell of a lot more.
There's time where I feel like I need to be ready to start my "life" already, but I still have two years of college to get through. I sometimes wish I could just find the love of my life, find a job that I love, and settle with that forever. But I'm not going to settle. No one should just settle. Sure two years aren't much left, but they're still two years that I have left to feel young.

I'm not ready for "my life" to begin yet; I'm still discovering me. That's why I say college is perfect for phases. Once college is over, "real world" situations hit. Mom and Dad won't be there to help you off your feet for very much longer. You live on your own, trying to find a job that you possibly will stick with for the majority of your life, and finally get married and start a family, maybe.

Right now, I may actually be going through a phase, but I don't care. At least I'm trying something new. I don't want to be realizing what I want and who I am too late.And now that I'm finishing this up, I'm thinking like a hypocrite. In all reality, maybe the one phase I go through where I finally discover me, happens after college. I have my whole life in front of me to make the best of what is supposed to happen for me. And you know, I'm fine with that.